Powerful visions

Our God is Terrible. I experienced God"s power upon me, many times, but the one where he put a demon- my sidekick-to death, My eyes were seeing, but i was not glad or worried or upset. He kept looking beseechingly at me, and when He died I felt no satisfaction, nor regret. and the Holy spirit- I saw it, the same as it was described in chapter one, like the bow and it hovered over him,because He came out of him and the vision was then Gone.The Holy spirit IS GOD, and He does not look like a man, But The Father is a man, just really really really big. Jesus as a full grown man is like a small child sitting to his right hand side. I have seen and felt many things. they call me crazy, but i am not. I am the daughter of Jehovah, and I see Him cause things to happen

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lFnWTz-7I0E

being jw

I really hated myself. that is what it is all about. make you feel so guilty, that you must power on no matter what, come hell or highwater, and in my case through jagged rocks and nails and screws and shattered glass, and poison, on my handsand knees in the crawl space under my home, i found coffins and bodied in the back yard rolled up inside a rug which me and my husband immeadiately reburied and kept our mouths about it shut. the owner he got the house from told him we live on an indian sacred burial ground ok, the inidans did not bury people in coffins or rugs. his wife is from fiji. voodoo headhunting tribe. muti-millionaires with nothing better to do than sacrifice homeless people with no relatives or friends. but, no matter what they did, they cold not kill me, well actually they did kill me, but i would instantly rise up pull myself together, and tell them, that was so stupid you know i cannot die.of course i knew i did that but i had no memory, but they were so incredulous that for fun they did it almost every night, and i always knew when it was going on, and i would just pray long and hard.finally they gave up. with only my husband left, no one is after me any more, and he seems disinterested finally. oh life. I am the bride, and these things happened to me, I do not hate myself. i respect my own person.Have some respect for yourself, you are Jehovah gods daughter. Jesus was right and i became strong again.

i want to, but i don't think the muslim family will celebrate. Yeah maybe, they did halloween for their kids and the kids gave me six pieces of candy.so, i won't hold my breath. i complained about several things and now my punishment is-no coffee ever-no snacks ever-and i am being forced to walk to the toilet, instead of using my bedside commode. its impossible to do, so best i can do is what they get. I got food poisoning from the food bank, 2,and then i wind up not being able to clean myself up and i get no sympathy for it.but I know what not to get now, and i will continue to go, because i am starving and losing weight rapidly, and i do not really move around, so i can say, that is abnormal.oh well, i'm used to it.

I am removing the horror and the data about all the ways i have suffered which includes kidnapped. raped .poisoned tortured .long term sensory deprivation, and generally stupid people i had no choice but to bear and their idiotic behaviors as well as mother abusing me by beating me with a bible for being a witness.talking never helps because even after 20 years with my counselor, she is retired and i feel abandoned again. art, and prayer, my steadfast beliefs led me to where i needed to go, inside, i regress to a childlike state and trust Jah implicitly with my life. By pretending that i am alone with God, and I finally heard a voice soft spoken in the wind, while trying to find anything other than fuzz on my radio, this is what i heard" For all your many counselors, i am the only one who will save you." I think that keeping my online diary helps me to see i i can talk about it, and then in bits and pieces i add it to my diary. so that i do not keep trying to justify the reasons i felt i would be able to tell anyone who would listen I AM INNOCENT. I wrote songs to god about god and about his son, and i asked him to talk for me, because my heart was destroyed. after many suicide attempts, and being frozen to death and come back, the only way to stop this madness is to stop the world cause i want to get off. I am ok, i am used to it.

I created a painting online in a game, yoville, and i called it," my sister dreams in purple." I made it for my sister tracey, she died 2 months ago and she never even looked at what i made because she hated me. i also wrote her from prison everyday, then one day i went to her house to pick up some mail, and there in a box, were all my letters unopened. I loved her, but she never loved me. The last thing my sister said to me, was answering my question" what about my last 2,000 dollars you owe me"{she was my payee} she said, that's too bad in't it"dropping the s to be as sarcastic and mean as she could. she used the money to paint her house purple. while i slept outside homeless and utterly broke. i forgive her, and told god, that the money she stole was a gift to God. Its really hard for me to make friends with anyone, i think i will go and unleash my creative talent now. Luve u guys..

my husband David Porter

my current husband David Monte Porter. He always looks kinda ruff. I took him from a homeless bum in jail time after time for driving without a license i created a buisness for him that bore his name and on our very first job we stole our ex-employers contract. well we painted the houses in the same streets for our ex-employer, and we made 30.000 dollars a month just him and me and an occaisional helper, too bad he cheated on me with a known whore, in my own house while i worked at night. It came to me on my birthday that  he did this -before he admitted it- i knew, i wanted to karaoke at a bar for my birthday, and as i sang for the first time for him, he was looking at and talking to her -instead of listening to me. My stage name is T and i sing like a professional, i usually do accapella-{NO MUSIC} i knew right then and there, i said i wanted a divorce he said"If I cannot have you no one will" i am still married but it seems he is a drifter, and i saw him doing photography under an assumed name in san diego california. maybe i will be a widow soon, this year marks our 14th year and i have not seen or heard from him in 4 years and with any luck i will be a widow soon, then i can get an apartment cause his ssi, will give me the option to do so. my ssi is a ridiculous 779 dollars of which i keep 62.79 a month. argh....

 yeah i have been collecting each tidbit i write onto an online blog/diary. My life is like 100 different lives. the owner caregiver called me a liar yesterday. Shedoes not blieve satn worhippers exist. nor does she believ me when i say i was tortured. nor does she beleive me wheni tell her i grew up mostly without any parents. she does not believe me when i told her my husband tried to kill me and that he is kkk. she is a mulim like my 1st husband. her and her husbamd act like they are perfect and any complaining i do, lands on deaf ears and i get accused of being mean to her or that it is enough now shut the f up. I do not like that religion at all. in fact i hate it with great passion beyond what i feel for twtbts. i cannot say it enough, they are all terrorists, the religion makes them Narcissistic. the fact that english is their second language makes it worse. they do not understand me so they take quick offense at any complaints and most adult family homes{stupid name for business run by people forced to be cared for by ignorant jerks from another culture} are run by non whites.I am not racist just remember i married a muslim second language Iranian{they call themselves persians}and have 3 children who do not speak to me, because the terrorist beat me so often that i left and my own sister and mom injuered my daughters so i sent them back to him, and i lost all 3 to their beleifs that i am a criminal, and a drug addict. they speak only english.

I Love the way you tried so desperately to find God's Love, That's when he really opens our mind and circumcises our hearts and gives us a new heart,  to purify us  spiritually a new mind that knows this is the way, Jesus has always been the way, but as JDUBS we never talked to the Lord. That is a mistake. I talk to Jesus, God taught me to do that. I am still anointed, I partake, I always have. I have been beaten many times, agonizing pain was my Friend. Homeless, hopeless and broken, married to a man who was channeling Satan himself. Jehovah saved me, by giving me to His son. I am so happy for you. A long time ago, I was in jail, for a crime I did not commit. I asked the jail preacher to find me a new world bible, he said he had a box full. He brought it to me, and when I was reading, I found that it had several extra books, like two Colossians etc.. but what struck home years later, I remembered, it was missing the book of Mark,THE NEW WORLD TRANSLATION WAS MISSING THE MARK. That mark is Love. the works were not of love that hurt you in the most unloving ,unkind, unfeeling,fierce, unforging  betrayal by your intimate friends- just as Jesus said. They would never forgive you. it is not the way TTaTT is not THE WAY-Love conquers all, and when you want it so desperately-you will not be ignored. Hallelujah.He took away my shame.I too am born again- I am so glad to know you.Brother."Now all these things my own hand has made, so that all these came to be,”* is the utterance of Jehovah. “To this one, then, I shall look, to the one afflicted and contrite in spirit and trembling at* my word." Please read Ezekiel chapter 34, Our fine God told us this would happen. He knows that man dominates man to his injury. He will decide between a sheep and a sheep. They shouldered us out and refused to feed us, and gave us hate for our Love .Know this, Jehovah's Son will stand up for those who loved him and obeyed him. We shared this pain, next we shall share the glory. Thank you.