Oh Fixerken

1. I wrote to my best friend , an anointed Brother in good standing, to warn him about the wtbts, he turned on me and rended me so hard that i erased it , normally i keep everything he writes but it hurt so much what he wrote that i could not bear it, the accusations flew at me and i was flabbergasted at his very angry accusing words, this is what i wrote for my Father God told me not to respond right way...this is what i wrote...Oh Fixerken....I am deeply sorry that you found in me , some terrible offense.I cannot and do not know what to think about the words you used on me. I am very very sad, and sorry , if you thought i was acting like someone who has lost their way...I have autism,and i am bi-polar-as well as having Post traumatic stress...as the victim of long term torture at the hands of many, many men. basically, i feel so sad, because you turned on me, it seems for expressing myself about the Muslims. and i thought i went to jw.org for all of my scriptures.If now you have taken offense, excuse me please. all i know is yes, i am friends with many jw's who still adhere to their Love of Jehovah our most precious God Almighty, our ABBA. you have made me afraid of you, that is not the tender affection I am used to from you...so i erased that email. I normally save every little thing you write , to remind me of your perfect Christian Love. I think I , yes , i prayed to OUR Father, and he said to me...do not answer right away, i was near heartbroken that you are taking my words and accusing me of some heinous crime toward our sweet affectionate God. That cannot ever be so...it is simple, what i wanted to say. If you allow imperfect men to boss you around and say, do not look at this or that because it will warp your mind...that is what i call mind control...until i listened to the spirit within, there are many things about my own people that i did not know. I have always been a single woman. Being married to 3 unbelievers....one Muslim, one hillbilly, and one i am still married to, who is a white supremist and a hell's angel. He is still trying to kill me. He would kidnap me give me meth-amphetamines, abandoned me in the deep woods for 3 days with no food or water, then he would show up, i was praying the whole time, even though it is an hallucinogenic drug, i was praying out loud for many hours because i am non violent, and unable to walk far, so i would try to hide, but he would always find me, and then viciously beat me, choke me, and say, you filthy Jehovah's witness, you are not a real Christian like me. That man, my current husband I found out about him, because i would never have married him, if he had not said' MARRY ME AND SERVE THE CHRIST FOREVER' i would not have married him, for i was terrified when i woke up, in my own house and my own bed to find i was hallucinating and i was raped. I have been repeatedly having this happen over 17 years I am on my last legs, i am screaming all the time, so i asked the Christ to speak for me, and help me, because the entire world wanted to really kill me. and when the Brothers threw me out of the memorial, when i was homeless and i was dressed not right, they kicked me out of the memorial, and what is really sad is that i knew they would. I can feel someone having bad thoughts about me. I can see and hear the demons...that is why i knew God and His son were real, because i knew the demons first. I had demons in me before ever i knew who the creator was, i prayed and asked MY Jesus to send me to the right church, and i was directed to go to the kingdom hall.I did not know that after my baptism, that i was going to be attacked by my own people, and you know that is all they do to me. and they do it to you too, so now, if ever you have felt someones thoughts were disturbing and moved away from them, it is simply a demon inside of a man or woman. this happens to me, and i remember you said you had strange thoughts....strange is an interesting word it means supernatural....so since i have prayed for us...perhaps you will remember my faithful service..we have know each other, over many years...I have not changed, but you think i have...I do not lean on my own understanding so forgive me, and i could not understand what you wrote for like a small child am i...agape Beloved Friend, i hope i will hear from you soon for you are the one person, who was my whole world for a very long time, i loved only you....IJAH...aka tina hemingway porter aka flairlynn*'@-@ search me